Well as most of you know last year at this time my little guy Armstrong had just been diagnosed with his brain tumor and finished 2 brain surgeries. Today while at church I suddenly could not stop thinking about this time last year when I had been sitting in the same church with Armstrong on my lap, at the same yearly christmas service.
I was overcome with saddness. As much as the day to day world has gone on. My arms still remember Armstrong as if it was yesterday I held him in them. My lips still remember the touch of his cheek as I would kiss him goodnight. But most of all my heart still remembers the loss of not having him in my life anymore.
On some days I feel absolutely energized to change the world, make a difference in Armstrongs name. But on other days I feel like the loss is too overwhelming and curling up in my bed is the best solution. I'm struggling to find a balance that is for sure. I have a list a mile long of things I would love to do in Armstrongs name, but not nearly a mile of money to follow the list.
Today was a day of sitting in the saddness. Of missing Army so much my body hurt. Today was one of those days I hope not to repeat anytime soon :(
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